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getting to Know you SHARING YOUR VALUES AND BELIEFS  As husband and wife, you are two individuals forming a union. Or are you? Most people entering a marriage are also joining together their histories: their family background, their values, their religious beliefs, their philosophy of life. Those things may seem unimportant beforehand, but they can have a profound impact on a relationship if you have not thought them through. For example: Your Families Does your marriage have the blessing of both families? If not, how can you address that issue? If you both have good relationships with your families, how are you going to decide, for example, where to spend holidays? Birthdays? How often and for how long will you visit each fami- ly? Will you both go, or just one of you? How do you feel about their visiting you? How important will their opinions be when you make big deci- sions? If you have children, how much say will they have in your child-rearing style? Your Religious Faith Do you share the same religious faith? If so, do you feel com- fortable with each other’s level of observance? Will you attend religious services together? How will you choose a place of wor- ship? How often will you go? If you do not share the same faith, how will you handle the dif- ferences, especially regarding religious holidays? Can you contin- ue to respect each other’s beliefs? Will you attend each other’s religious services and events? Will it disturb either of you to have the religious objects or books of your spouse’s faith in your home? If you plan to have children, do you agree on the way you will approach their religious upbringing? What faith will they be taught, and how? If they will be raised in the religion of one parent, what will they be taught about the faith of the other? Your Values Do you share the same basic outlook? It might be helpful for each of you to list your highest moral values, then compare lists. What is most important to each of you in life? What do you con- sider ethical and unethical behavior? If there are areas of dis- agreement, you can talk about them. How do your values extend to your political beliefs? What approach will work best for you if you hold contrasting political views? Your Conversation While in-laws, religion, and politics may be off-limits for dis- cussion in many social situations, they should definitely be on the agenda of a couple getting ready for marriage. If you can both keep an open mind as you talk about these issues, you’ll find you learn a lot about each other – and maybe even about yourselves. § 160 § AKRONCANTONWEDDINGS.COM | WEDDINGS IN OHIO  KLODT PHOTOGRAPHY 

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